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For others, it’s after two or three months,” she says. They don’t want to feel they’re hiding the cancer, but they don’t want cancer to be the first thing someone knows about them.” Before the big reveal, do a trial run with a close friend to practice what you’re going to say.While you can’t control the other person’s reaction, you can control how you deliver the message.
Social worker Barbara Golby gives advice for restoring confidence, setting expectations, and disclosing disease history and shares resources for cancer patients and survivors looking to jump into the dating scene.
Dating is exciting — but having cancer or having had cancer in the past can make the search for a relationship seem daunting. “Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer,” says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby.
But somewhere between being declared in remission this past April and my hair slowly but surely making its Jewfro comeback, I realized I couldn’t rely on old relationships that didn’t work; I already had enough battles going on. I wanted to feel normal again, to date like any other twentysomething.
Besides, going on dates helps you forget your past and have fun in the moment, right? In job-centric, car-happy Los Angeles, that generally means doing the online thing.
Fireworks will go off at the end of the date (real ones, obviously) and the rest will be history.