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I went with the flow, but I was certain to tell James what I would and wouldn’t do. Finally, we had our first date on the fourth of July.
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He didn’t seem to really understand BDSM, which I had read about a lot before knowing him. He felt that it was more "intense" just to do everything without asking permission.
I tried to explain to him that from what I’ve read, people in these relationships are caring and listen to their partner about their wants and dislikes. The next time I saw him, James was much more violent.
I rubbed the spit off my face and he said, “Don’t do that, bitch, I’ll tell you when to wipe your face.”I complied, trying to be a “good sub” and he kept going.
But when James put his hands on my neck and began to choke me, I panicked.
He wanted to slap me in the face, and I didn’t want him to do that, either. James and I talked a few times after that incident, but I was afraid to see him again. When I told him how upset it had made me, he just laughed. Then he told me that he would do it again if he had the chance, with or without consent.