Rule for dating my son

by  |  20-Mar-2014 06:23

Let’s just get this out of the way first: Yes, I’ve been noticeably absent for several months. Also, since I have sons, I shall refer to that particular meme. It assumes that (a) my son isn’t capable of making his own decisions or standing up for himself, (b) because he’s a man, he will be unable to resist a woman who dresses “like a stripper” and sends sexts, regardless of any of her other traits — good or bad — and (c) I’m responsible for him and his happiness for the rest of his life.

If you spend any time on the vast stretches of the internet, especially social media, you’ve probably seen images like these popping up all over the place over the last however-many months: I’ve seen people share these on Facebook and Twitter, touting them as being the Next Big Thing in parenting. But publicly dictating controlling and sexist “rulesfor your child’s emergence into adulthood? I have a number of issues with these memes, but let me stick to the main one . Nevertheless, I take exception to this meme for the inferences it makes about them, and about me.

And he raised my son well if he needs an arsenal to defend himself from a teenager with a crush.

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This is not a treat, but a promise: I will sneak into my son’s room like a ninja and check his phone nightly for inappropriate sexts or naughty pictures so you best not be sending ’em.

I don’t care how much my son likes it when you let your thongy freak flag fly. Look, I don’t mind tattoos per se but you’re a teenage girl and right now that tat is making you look like someone who doesn’t give a $#@& about her parents.

If you don’t give a $#@& about your own parents, then you most certainly won’t give a $#@& about me.

You and I may only ever agree on one thing: My son is the greatest young man in the history of the entire universe. I can and will judge your trampy book by its cleavage showing/bare midriff blazing/stiletto heel stomping/false eyelash wearing cover…and so will everybody else. I don’t want to see what’s going on between your legs and I certainly don’t want to find out the hard way either.

Have your child sign i MOM’s Cell Phone Contract.] 3. Well, just know that I’ve taught my son to look for the kind of girl who keeps more hidden than seen. Sure my son is fun, but he’s also a student, and in our house; school comes before fun. No, I won’t hide in the backseat or stalk you when you’re with my son, but he and I have an agreement that he checks in often with home, and let’s me know where he is and where he’s going.

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